Friday, April 18, 2014

Meditating with porcelain




It was time to clean up the wheel and break out the porcelain this week. Jeff had been after me to make some small cups and carve them, so I figured now was as good a time as any. While I was at it I threw and carved a variety of shallow bowls. Most of these will get celadon glaze. This next firing will be a test. I'll do one in only celadon and another in celadon with black underglaze. I really like carving through porcelain, the cream cheese texture feels so good under my carving tool and it's quite meditative.

Working a little differently also kept my mind occupied and it was a good escape from the worries of my mother's illness. She is still at the rehab center of a nursing home. She hasn't gained any strength and in reality is much weaker. I have to force myself to call everyday. It's so depressing to talk with her. She is having a very difficult time coming to terms with this. Everyday she tells me she is so tired and doesn't understand why. I just don't know how to respond to her without saying, "Mom, you have terminal cancer, what are you expecting?" But of course I can't say that to her.  I think because she is in "rehab" she has it in her head that she should be getting strong enough to come home. I guess that was the goal when they moved her, but I really don't think she is coming home. My sister is going to be with them today for appointments with the oncologist and palliative care. I am hoping after today we will have a better idea of what we are facing in the next few weeks. I am staying on top of laundry here at home, in case I have to quickly hop on a plane... on the bright side, at least we haven't been running out of socks!

4 comments:

  1. time will help with the tiredness for your mother, the shock of injury and diagnosis makes everything much more debilitating, even if your mother is terminal she may live for a good long time

    I love working with porcelain it is so smooth and creamy.

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  2. such pretty work and so sorry about your mom

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  3. This is the hardest part of terminal illness. My thoughts are with you. xox....*s*

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  4. Thanks everyone.
    After meeting with doctors yesterday it was decided that she would stay in the rehab facility as long as possible and then may move to assisted living. They don't think it's a good idea for her to come home since she would need care full time and my Dad isn't up to that. My sister said the palliative care doctor was very good at explaining to Mom what she can expect her remaining days to be like. She seems to be coming to terms with her illness.

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