Saturday, February 22, 2014

the unexpected phone call

What a week it has been. I was feeling lazy on Monday, since it was a holiday, and wasn't very productive. Tuesday I kicked my butt into gear and became productive, which continued into Wednesday. Then it all came to a screeching halt with a phone call on Wednesday evening.

My 87 year old parents had an accident with the car. Mom and Dad had returned home from a morning errand. Dad pulled up to the entrance to their building to let Mom off on the sidewalk so she wouldn't have to step over a snow bank to get out of the car. They live in New Hampshire where it has been one snow storm after another. From what I understand, when my Dad started to pull away, the car was stuck in a snow rut. He gave it some gas, the car lurched free, jumped the sidewalk and hit my mother. She has hospitalized with a severely torn up leg, but thankfully no broken bones. She had surgery to clean up the wound and will need skin grafts over the next few weeks. They sent her home last night with a wound-vac to aid in healing. A nurse will come a few times a week to change that and a physical therapist will start coming today. Thankfully, my sister, who teaches middle school, is on February break will be able to stay with them until we feel comfortable leaving them overnight. 

Right now I can't even wrap my head around how my father is dealing with this accident. I am surprised he didn't go into cardiac arrest when it happened. He was really shook up when he called my sister. They don't have a cell phone and he had trouble finding the address book with all of our numbers... my mother does the phone talking for the two of them. I haven't slept well for the past three nights. My brain won't shut down and it keeps running this event over and over.

My siblings and I are glad that the parents are no longer in their house and are in a senior living apartment. They made that decision on their own, two years ago. I am not looking forward to the next conversation with them... perhaps it's time to stop driving. My Dad had a minor accident last winter too.  We are hoping that this decision will come from them as well.

Dealing with aging parents can be so difficult and complex. Being 800+ miles away doesn't make it any easier.

P.S. The lidded oval was from the last firing, it doesn't have anything to with this post aside from taking the edge off of the "omg that's terrible" factor!


  1. Hoping they come through this OK. It's really tough when you are so far away worrying about how both of them are doing.

  2. Good grief! That's so disturbing! And I'm glad to hear that your mom is on the sorry about the whole upsetting event, and your feelings that are normal but still hard to deal with from a distance. Of course you need a break from your productive creations...but maybe that will also help you express your feelings...perhaps.

  3. Hope it all works out for your mom and dad, it isn't easy since they are so far away but I think it's lucky they are in a senior development as there are usually plenty of folks who can lend a helping hand when they have a need.

  4. Thinking of you and hoping that all turns out well. The hardest part from your point of view may be the distance involved and not knowing how things are progressing.
    Is there any possibility of making a quick trip up to NH? It would set your mind at ease to be there in person
    How fortunate that there is family close be and available. xox *s*

  5. Thanks to all for the kind words!
    We are all so glad that they are in an apartment for senior. No stairs to climb, two of my aunts live in the building.
    I looked at flights to make a quick a quick trip - the cost would be over $500 which we just can't swing right now. If I stayed for at least 7 days it would be more affordable, if I had to or have to, that's what I would do.

  6. I'm sorry to hear about your Mom. Tough on everyone. And the snow in NH has been unbelievable. I was looking at Southwest Air just this morning (RDU to MHT) and they had some $146 fares.

    I, too, wish that NH was closer!

  7. Thanks Jenny, I am going to look into RDU. I haven't checked since thursday morning.

  8. Oh Michele, my stomach just dropped when I read this, I am so very sorry for all of you, and so happy it wasn't worse, just imagining what could have happened must go through your mind over and over.
    My mom drives like a "bat out of hell" at age 83, still getting speeding tickets. I don't know what she will do when they take her car away....
    You will be in my thoughts

  9. I'm so sorry.
    If your sister can be there now you might be better to wait and fill in when she goes back to work.

  10. So Sorry to read about the accident, it is really sad and hard for you all. It is difficult living so far from parents when you want to be able to help. Hugs from us, P&L xx

  11. Sorry for your troubles.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

  12. oh no. Hope her healing goes well. A few years ago my mom slipped off a tractor and rolled and ran over her head. She's ok and we laugh about it now but it is upsetting when something like this happens.

  13. I'm really sorry to hear about your Mom, Michele. I hope she will heal well and quickly, and your Dad will also be OK.

  14. I totally get how you feel, my parents are up north and Janet's are out west. Like you, we are so grateful for the siblings and friends that are closer and can help in an emergency (or any other time they need assistance) but it still makes you feel helpless.
    I hope the surgery's go well for her and that your father makes the decision on his own.


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